the path from my door to my mattress is no longer officially clear, it becomes that way when i push my moccasins, boots, canvases, gift boxes from kohl's out of the way. but then i come home from waitressing and pull off my boots, my black pants, shirt, socks, apron, and all of a sudden my door is very far away. there's got to be a better way to live than this but i'm too lazy to clean, it would take a tremendous effort that i'm not willing to put forth. at least i got clean socks for christmas.
speaking of the cold and terrible new england weather (was i?), the past two days have been beautiful and in spite of sounding like a fucking retard: they have filled me with hope. i've been in a ridiculously good mood the past couple of days. like, not bitter and cynical but in a cheery way as per normal, just happy. like, standing in ben's kitchen, birdwatching happy.
it was almost like spring today but you couldn't smell the earth breathing. my marigold seeds are sprouting in their ziploc bag, and i'm shocked that the temperature in my room has been high enough to fool them.
i bought a wooden box at michael's to keep all the small bits of animals i find on the beach in. jaws of fish, vertebrae of sea monsters, witches' purses, snail shells. shells in general! i would really love a deer skull but only if i find one, i don't want to be given one by someone whose dad killed it or something. hear me, cosmos? it would be a neat find. georgia o'keefe would approve.
i miss road trips with moccasins and bonnaroo doesn't have their band listing up yet.
not like anyone would go to bonnaroo with me because there aren't any bands there that sound like The Starting Line. OH ZING.
i am joking, i love you guys, i just need different music than you. that is all.
speaking of off-beat music that the main portion of my friends will never voluntarily listen to:















this Hecuba shirt is in the mail system to my house right now! well, not Devendra's, but one exactly like it. i'm so excited, Hecuba's kind of eerie and wonderful and just the thing i like listening to.
i am excited for tomorrow because hopefully i'll be up before 11 again, this morning i was up at 8 and i feel like i've gotten twice as much done. molly and i are getting our nails done. i have never gotten my nails done.
in other news i have been listening to mewithoutYou nonstop since Ben got me one of their cds, and they almost replaced mr. banhart as my favorite, until i listened to the live version of At The Hop that was recorded when i saw him in september. then i was like, whatev, mewithoutYou, i'll always like Devendra more. whatev whatev.
whatev whatev whatev!
















i'm ready for summer, again. i can wait through spring, but this winter stuff is overrated. christmas is over, new england, time to warm up.

caitlynnnnnnnnnnnnn